Me again, with some other thoughts and no, not at night, although i may continue that because i actually quite enjoy it being honest. I don’t even have a plan what i’m doing here rn but hey, i’m not professional. And i don’t have a problem with that as well. But i wonder if you have that 1 person in your life as well, or had. Describing now. In my case, its a girl in class. I don’t say more but that she’s very atractive seeming to me. but there is 1 thing. Simply 1 thing i don’t get. Mostly i’m the one writing messages. Months ago there came at least something back. A friend of mine says its usual for her, doing short answers if at all. In the easter holiday i had in april she surprisingly texted me at night because i was still awake, and this is where the conversation started. All good, let’s skip that to a certain point. We also came to the point that i feel like bothering but she asured me more than once i wasn’t. All good, all good. Let’s skip a few months until some weeks ago. I was at the swimming pool with a friend and we did a little challenge which i wone, and that made him do my huge favor, asking her how its without me himself, and not me. I wrote a hi but nothing came which was a longer while ago so i pritty much gave up. Soon i figured out it was chilled for her without me being around(all the time), which i totaly wasn’t but k. Took that a bit confused and disappointed. Plus hearing that a good friend of hers crush’s on him but she didn’t excepted him yet. But here we come to the first point. Why is honesty so hard for people. Cuz they think they don’t hurt? Wrong, ideots. Its doing the exact different thing. It hurts more being actually lied on. Sure, being clear completely in these emotional times would hurt more but if there’s a friend there’s always an exit. And 1 friend is enough, if its the closest one you can share everything with.
Plus another girl from a few grades above which now switch’s the region and goes to another school actually wanted to do something with me in the holidays. Kepped contacting her but then she was sick, had a holiday job, was busy, bla. I feel a little played with sometimes, although something tells me she isn’t someone wrong. But let’s rather say its the fault of unfairness. Leaving that here might be better, even unsencical maybe but its my own blog, after all.
O woops, last thing. Probably you reader-s experienced that as well. When people don’t know when you’re actually joking and when you’re serious. Was today at the swimming pool again with another friend and someone in my family, but i think only because i said something she took serious she kepped slowly distant, leaving us be and meh. What my actual point is in this post to ask, what am i doing wrong. Am i such a horible person it all needds to backfire on? Can’t i joke around and be crazy without something destroying my fun or taking everything to serious? Am i always the bad one, the one people can’t be honest to and all of this?
Probably, not the only one at all. But if there is something i don’t get and never got then its this. Thanks for reading the nonsencical bullshit for today, off with me now.